Pelley Family Blog

For the newbies - that means Letter of Acceptance.  It takes THREE, yes, count them, THREE levels of acceptance to adopt from China.  Our Pre-Approval (PA) came in July.  If we were waiting to get a healthy infant, we would then wait up to three years for the Letter of Acceptance (LOA).  Since we are doing a Waiting Child Adoption (older and/or special needs), the wait is considerable shorter, but this has been long enough.  116 days from our Log-In Date.  Mike talked to Maury, who said that she will overnight our paperwork to us.  We have to sign them, dish out some more money, and overnight them back.  Hopefully they will go to China with next Friday’s shipment (FTIA sends stuff to China every Friday).  Good week for our paperwork to be stateside, because China closes down next week for Chinese New Year!  So, our paperwork should be waiting for them upon their return! 

About four weeks later, we should get our third and final acceptance, the TA (Travel Approval) - where they basically say, “Come and get her!”  At that point, FTIA’s China crew will work to get us a US Consulate appointment.  That’s that last thing you have to do in China before you can leave the country with your child.  We’ll work backward from there.  SOOO, Maury, at this point, hopes that we’ll be traveling by mid-March.  Still later than I’d hoped, but not as late as it could be.   Maury usually estimates worst-case, so that’s good.

Hold on a little longer, XiaoYing - we’re coming!

Today, Grace suggested that we stop counting days - it’s just too depressing, and a constant reminder of how long this is taking.  I agreed, although it is hard, seeing as day 100 hit on December 31, so just add “100″ to today’s date. 

Yesterday, in all of my discouragement, I found some wonderful encouragement in some very old words.  I was listening to a CD of Cynthia Clawson, which alone should date me (she was popular in the 80’s).  She was just singing some old hymns, and I found myself teary-eyed.   Here they are:

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here.
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear,
He whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best.
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Then another hymn in the same medley:

Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief and pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thro’ throny ways leads to a joyful end.

Okay - what hit me was this - the One who knows best, who is “kind beyond all measure” - does not deem it best for us to get our LOA right now.  Who knows why.  Only He knows.  But I can trust Him to know what is best.  I tell myself that this trial is small in comparison to so many trials (I went to a funeral of a friend today), but, again, I remind myself that being separated from your child, who needs you, does qualify (I think).  Anyhow, I  have a renewed sense of hope today, even though, once again, our LOA did not come.

Well - it’s day 112.  This is getting old!  I got some “not so encouraging” news from Maury (our caseworker) today - she said that LOA’s are taking at least four months.  Well, we’re just a week shy of four months.  That will put us a week before Chinese New Year - and who knows how much that will slow things down!!  Maury also said that TA’s (Travel Approval - the next step) is taking about four weeks after the LOA, and people are leaving 3-5 weeks AFTER that.  So - best case right now - unless God works a miracle - puts us at late March/early April.  Far cry from the January/February we had hoped.  I’d hoped, that, worst case, we’d be with her for her 10th birthday.  I keep reminding myself that God knows best - and I can use this time to do some major cleaning, and maybe catch up on some scrapbooking!   We’d cleared out the schedule for this winter/spring - so there’s a lot of open time!

Well- we finally came up with an American name for XiaoYing.  She will be Ruby Xiaoying Pelley.  Wasn’t a name that was even on our radar screen when we first began to discuss it.  Our list included:  Katherine, Katie, Lucy, Elizabeth, & Ruby.  Kind of boiled down to Lucy and Ruby.  I (Kathy) was in a store in Indiana in October when I saw a plaque that quoted the verse in Proverbs, “She is worth far more than rubies.”  It just impressed me.  My favorite aunt’s name is Ruby Kathleen, but she’s always gone by Kathleen.  I found out this fall that she was named after my great-grandmother - I never knew that.  So - it is a family name as well - giving Xiaoying some connection with her new family. 

I have tried the name out on several people during this “decision” process.  It is surely not a name you hear much any more.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that a couple of my friends know children with this name.  

We will call her Xiaoying until she tells us not to.  But, seeing as nobody beyond our immediate family seems to be able to say her name (and we’re not completely sure we’re saying it correctly), we felt that she needed an American name.  From my years of work with Asian refugees, I found that they wanted American names.  I think they got tired of their names being butchered, and they wanted to identify with their new land. 

Today is day 108 - boy am I tired of counting.  SO ready to bring that gal home!