Pelley Family Blog

This is at the folk art museum.  Ruby is watching a caligrapher write her English and Chinese name on a card.

Watching

 We had a group photo session. These are two other older kids with Ruby. The one in the middle was adopted from Russia several years ago and came with her family to get a younger brother.

With other kids

This is near an indoor waterfall at the White Swan.  Ruby is wearing a traditional Chinese outfit we got for her.

Waterfall

We got someone to take a family portrait. Well, not the whole family, but those who were there.

Famliy

Bamboo

 If at first you don’t succeed, …

Signs

 At the zoo, they had a small amusement park with about 10 rides, mostly for younger kids.  Mom and Ruby had fun on the roller coaster.

Roller coaster

 Somebody in China loves lots of bright lights!  It seems every building was lit up.  The one in the background has full motion video done in full color lights.

Guangzhou at night

 This is looking across the Pearl River, which runs through Guangzhou.

Across the river

We had a good day, although it had its challenges.  The planned activities were to go to a Buddhist temple and then a folk-art museum.  When we got to the temple, there were a number of beggars by the entrance.  These were the first beggars Xiao Ying has seen since she’s been with us.  She pulled out her red envelope and asked us if she could give her money to one of them.  (There was some money left over from what she resisted spending the other day.)  The whole time in the temple, she wanted to get some incense and do some of the Buddhist worship practices, but we kept saying “No”.  The guide was telling us we can have her “blessed”, but we’d rather have her blessed by Jesus when we get home.  Finally, we just left instead of continuing the tour and walked around until it was time to meet back at the bus.  (We got ourselves some ice cream treats at 7-11, which seemed to help the mood some.)

The folk-art museum was interesting.  It was previously a family’s private temple.  They must have been quite wealthy - it occupied several acres and was highly decorated!  They had some antique furniture, wood and ivory carvings, embroidery, etc.  At the shop there, you could get “chops” (a carved ink-stamp that has your personal “logo”) and calligraphy scrolls with your name.  Xiao Ying didn’t want a fancy painted scroll with her name, but just a 4×8 inch card.  Go figure.

After lunch, the three of us walked over to the equivalent of Holcombs - a book store for teachers.  We picked up some more “teaching English” stuff and some puzzle books and story books to occupy her on the long plane ride home.  We then played some badminton and went to a Thai restaurant for dinner.  She ordered some soup, of course, that had “beef balls” in it.  They were strange, not our meatballs of chopped meat, but more like real beef.

This evening, Xiao Ying seemed to be in quite the silly mood.  She danced and marched and did “motions” to her children’s music CD.  She was constantly giggling as we studied some English and played Chinese Checkers.  We think she is becoming much more comfortable with us.  She prompted us for hugs and even gave us kisses for the first time.  And she beat us twice in Chinese Checkers!

Daddys little girl!

Tomorrow, the whole group is to get together for a group photo at “the famous red couch” at the White Swan hotel.  After that, the three of us plan to go to the zoo.

We had a pretty laid back day today.  Xiao Ying went for a fairly cursory medical exam, which is required as part of the immigration process.  We then went with another family to some botanical gardens.  It was very nice.  Except it started pouring when we were about half-way through the gardens.  We made it to a greenhouse, where we hung out for a good hour waiting for the downpour to stop.  We then went to lunch at a noodle restaurant, came back to the room, filled out some paperwork with our guide, walked around some, bought a DVD, went back to the room and had a quiet evening.  We ate in the room and played a couple rounds of the “Memory” game. 

Here are some pictures of Xiao Ying, who always has a ready smile…

Family photo

At the gardens, they had some drums set up for Chinese New Year:

Playing drums

The flowers at the garden were beautiful:

Flowers

A couple of silly pictures, just after she woke up this morning:

Silly smile

Movie Star

(We tried to post these last night, but the internet connection at the hotel seems to be overloaded in the evening, so I’m posting this at 5AM, when I woke up.  That is the latest I’ve slept in so far!  I’m finally getting adjusted to the 12 time zone change.)

We’re just trying to keep busy here - we only had one appointment today, and that lasted about two minutes, or less (plus 30 minutes travel time).  Here are the pics from yesterday  - and this morning.

Yesterday, we played ping-pong at the hotel

Playing ping pong

We gave Ruby a necklace with a ruby on it, so she posed with it on:

A ruby necklace

Last night we played “Memory”.  It took her about half of the first game to pick up on what it is about and the second game she beat us!

Memory

XiaoYing is beginning to eat more.  Last night at dinner, she ate her own dinner (even the condiments on her plate) and then helped me with mine.  At breakfast today, she knew what to do - grabbing her own plate and filling it up.  She was curious about the toast machine - so she ate her first piece of bread (that we’ve seen).  She has trouble working with a knife, so she asked Mike to spread the jelly. 

Her ”new” thing yesterday was using a hand drying machine at KFC.  She loved it.  The restaurant had something I’d never seen - a sink beside the counter for washing your hands before you eat!  Novel idea!

We bought her a Chinese dress for her baby doll, and she has taken a new interest in playing with that, now that she’s dressed properly. 

Mike worked with her this morning on the Reader rabbit computer program, so she practices letters and numbers and colors.  She’s actually said a few English words today - Mike is making her ask for the key by name before giving it to her when we reach the hotel.  She said “Good morning, Daddy” to Mike when she got up this morning.  When I accidently stepped on her foot, I apologized, and she said “That’s alright.”  She says “Thank you” a lot, and has now added, “You’re welcome.”  After lunch today, she said, “I’m full.”  Oh - and she said, ”I’m sorry” for something, I don’t remember  what.

She had her first “pout” last night, but got over it quickly.  Just as we got online to “Skype” home, she got out her foster mom’s phone number.  She would not come to the bed, where we were sitting in front of the camera.  So, we just ignored her and talked to the girls at home.  After a while, she got up and watched the girls, but stayed out of camera shot.  Then, finally, she was in the camera.  While we talked, she and the girls played “copy” the rest of the conversation.  If one crossed their arms, she did, and vice versa.  This went on for five to ten minutes, with arm crossing, putting their hands on their chins, clapping, etc.  So neat that they can play seven thousand miles away from each other.

We did some shopping today - she did well - many things she wanted, she didn’t get - and didn’t make a huge deal about it.  We did let her choose a  CD of kids music  - and she’s been singing away here, sometimes with motions.  She keeps a good tune - and really has a high voice for a kid.  We don’t get much opportunity to hear her voice, so it’s fun to hear her sing.

Oh - we found something out today that we did not know - thankfully.  Yesterday, when the officials talked to her - if she had said that she did NOT want to be adopted, then the process could have been halted.  Wow!  Like I said, I’m glad we did not know that.  Mike has asked for a copy of the paper where she wrote, in her beautiful Chinese handwriting - “I want to be adopted and go to the US with my new parents.”   

NOW FOR THE LATE BREAKING NEWS! - It has been arranged for us to go to Maoming tomorrow, the city where she has lived most of her life.  We will never know where she was born, but she has lived in Maoming.  We will visit her orhanage and hopefully, her school.  It is a long trip - we hear everything from three hours to five hours.  A lot depends on traffic.  We’d love to meet her foster mom - she seems to really love her — but they greatly discourage this - it’s hard on the kids and the foster moms - who greatly love their charges.  But we can meet some of the people who have been very important to her.  Mike really really wants to do this.  I could go either way.  Since she’s doing so well, I don’t want to give her the chance to regress - but based on what we’ve seen, I think she will do well.  We asked her - through Helen - if she wanted to go.  At first she seemeds ambivalent, but then said, yes, she’d like to.  So - we’re off EARLY in the morning.  Mike said - what are we going to do with her for all those hours in a van - I said - the same thing we’d do for a fourteen hour flight - oh yeah!

So - hopefully, we’ll have some pictures tomorrow night - we don’t anticiate getting back until evening.  We ask for your prayers for us all tomorrow.

I hope I haven’t repeated anything - our internet is slow and this morning was nonexistent.  For me to go back and check yesterday’s post takes forever.  So, hopefully, you skip through what you don’t want to read!

At least I think that is what we did today. We had to go back to the civil affairs office.  I had Helen explain to XY that we were not taking her back, but that we needed to do some more paperwork.  During the day wait, we had to sign papers, giving us custody of her for a “harmonious” period - until today, when she was truly a Pelley.  We had an official “family” picture made, and then two interviews - basically - why do you want to adopt from China? Do you want XY?  Are you happy with her?  Do you promise not to abandon or harm her and give her a good education, etc.  Then, in the second interview, the official talked to XY quite a long time.  I knew she was asking what she thought about all of this, and I was hoping that after one day, XY was still ready to go with us.  Then she had XY write something down on the official papers.  Later she (the official) told us that she wrote that she was willing to go with her adoptive parents to the U.S.  Whew! 

After the offical work was done (for today) we went to KFC for lunch.  XY showed me what she wanted to eat, but when I tried to order for her, she pushed me away and wanted to order herself.  At first, she wanted a family meal for four, but we nixed that.  Then - to shopping.  We did some food shopping.  We let her pick out some “ramen noodle in a cup” type things - for when we eat in the hotel room.  We tried to communicate that she could get four of them.  Helen was off helping the other family.  It took some doing, but we got four.  When I would take a second, she would put the first back.  It was funny!  She asked for some drinks, which we got.  And a mango - different type than we have here.  We did say “no” to a few things as well. 

Then - off to clothes shopping - the other family needed a jacket for their baby.  I ended up getting a top/long pants for XY.  Most of the clothes I brought are for warmer weather - and a cold front hit last night.  All of the cold weather clothes got thrown out when I was trying to make the weight limit on my suitcases.  Things are DIRT cheap here - Mike says that is because everything is made in China and they don’t have to export it!  Mike saw bicycles for $30 - the kind you fold up - really expensive at home.  Nobody drinks tap water here, so water coolers are big - the floor models are about $50!  Our dinner last night - complete meal for three people with a drink - was about $12. 

Then to the electronics shop.  We had hoped to get an electronic translator for XY to put in what she wanted to say to us.  But most of them work on pinyin, and her pinyin is limited.  We played with a couple, but determined that they would not do us much good.  That was a disappointment.  We can use babelfish to communicate with her, but as yet, nothing that she can use to communicate with us.

Before we parted ways with Helen for the day - we gave Ruby a ruby necklace, and had Helen explain the stone - and her name.  I don’t know how much she comprehended - she thanked us and that was that.  This morning, I got on XY’s foster sister’s website, where she had posted a letter for XY.  XY read it in Chinese - and then pointed to Mei Feng’s American name - Marissa.  So I said “Marrisa” (the Chinese explanation told her that this was Mei Feng’s American name.  She repeated the name - “Marissa” and then touched herself and said “Ruby”.  I think she gets it.  We’re still calling her XiaoYing, and I guess we will until she tells us not to.

We are still hoping to go to Maoming, but that seems like it may not happen.  Helen seems to have something planned for every day!  Tomorrow is our visit to the police station to apply for her passport -  Just one appointment, but we can’t go on a day long journey and miss it.

We came back to the room and went down to play ping pong for a while.  That was fun.  Mike and XY just went out to the partk to throw the frisbee.  She seems very comfortable with us.  She’s very independent - but every so often, she grabs our hand as we walk along.  I’m trying not to push it - let her warm up to us at her own speed.  I did her hair this morning - or at least tried - how I miss Joanna.  That gave us some bonding time. 

She put on an outfit I brought her this morning, but after breakfast, changed out of the skirt for some pants.  She was cold.  Mike asked today if it was okay to wear shorts - he didn’t want to offend anyone as he hadn’t seen any Chinese wearing shorts.  Helen told him that it’s not hot enough!  It is much cooler today, and to be cooler still the next two days, then back to 80 on Friday

Well, that’s all I can think of for today.  Perhaps Mike will post a picture or two later.  Oh - if you are reading every day, you might want to go back a few days.  I think Mike added some pictures of the Great Wall.

Oh - on a sad note.  Yesterday, when the orphanage director was talking to us, she had us sign a type of “guest” book - every child that is adopted is placed in the book, with his/her new parents, and the new parents sign.  XY recognized some of her friends’ names right away.  The sad part is - the last child adopted from her orphanage  (happens to be one of XY’s friends, who lives in Cincinnati) was in December.  That HUGE orphange (and it is huge - hundreds, probably over 1000 I’m told) - and one kid in the last three months.  When you look at some of these kids - you just want to scoop them all up.  I read at the beginning of our process that one thing they don’t tell you - that when you go home, you carry in your heart forever all of the little ones that are left behind.  I think I’m beginning to understand.

We’re in Guangzhou, and just hours away from seeing Ruby for the first time.  (We get picked up at two tomorrow afternoon - two in the morning your time) The thoughts and feelings are varied: 

• Wondering how she’s feeling, as her life changes forever tomorrow. 
•  Kind of feeling badly for her and her foster family. 
• Feeling a bit of “panic” - knowing our lives are about to change forever! 
• Ready to “get on with it!”

Tonight I put Ruby’s backpack together - kind of a “gift” or “bribe” or something that makes the pain of leaving the familiar a little more bearable.  Mike has started exchanging money.  After all the trouble we went to to obtain new or “like new” $100 bills, the plan has changed.  We have to exchange all of those wonderful new bills for Chinese money to take tomorrow.  So, rather than 50 clean crisp bills, we get to take 350 Chinese bills in whatever condition the bank gives us.  That’s a HUGE wad!  It will be nice to get rid of that money.  Thankfully, our hotels have had safes, so we have not had to carry it around all of the time.

GZ is HOT and HUMID.  We’re in the tropics!  That means beautiful foilage and flowers - and gecko-type creatures! Mike spotted one during dinner and felt the need to tell me about it:(  Speaking of dinner, we ate at a German restaurant - a bona fide German owner and cook - and the best weinerschnitzel I’ve EVER had!

Thanks for your prayers for my knee.  It is doing much better.  Today I’m mostly sore from yesterday’s climb of  the Great Wall.  I’m guessing it must have given me a much better workout than the #5 incline on my treadmill!  Mike went much further up the wall than I did.  He said that at the point where he turned around, there was a warning sign for people with cardiac conditions.  I think they put it way too far up the wall!  Not too many people even made it that far!

Most of the next eleven days will be spent on this tiny island - Shaiman Island - if you walk the perimeter, it is only one mile!  It is in GZ, but is known as a “respite” from the city, even though the city is just a few feet away, across the river.  It was settled by the Europeans in the 1800’s and has more European architecture.  Lots of trees.  Smells terrible.  I know that a week from now I’ll be more than ready to be home.  Actually, I feel that way right now!  I know I’ll be stir crazy here for ten days. 

Driving into GZ from the airport today was interesting.  While in Beijing, everything seemed kind of new and clean;, GZ seems just the opposite.  I guess Beijing was cleaned up and made presentable to the world for the Olympics.  Today I saw miles and miles and miles of old, dirty, apartment buildings.  I feel like I’m on Work & Witness! 

Our hotel (the Victory) is very nice.  It isn’t the famous “White Swan”, where most adopting families stay, but it is very nice - and $1000 cheaper.  We have a two room suite - a living room and bedroom.   Oh - and get this.  The “key” - you don’t actually put it in a slot - you just “wave” it in front of your door.  (Actually, you have to wave it in the elevator to get the elevator to work as well. )

Okay - for my musings.  Some will have to wait until I get home  - but here are a few:

• I love the way it is acceptable for two persons of the same sex to walk around town holding hands or locking arms.  There is NO sexual connotation to it - they are just friends.  I had forgotten about this since my days working with Asian people.
• There is NO sense of personal space - you get pushed, shoved, knocked from all sides.  I guess if you’ve lived in these tight quarters for years, you can’t give another person too much space.  (Beijing alone is more than twice the size of NYC)  Reminded of what my friend Keri told me about the “lessons” the Chinese were given before the Olympics. One of them was to learn to stand in line.  They didn’t learn. 
• The Kizzee in me has to check out the cars.  Buicks are big here - new model Buicks - although different from what we see at home.  The Honda Odyssey is very low to the ground - kind of looks like the Chrysler Pacifica.  They have the squattiest mini-vans I have EVER seen - even smaller than in Europe, I think.  A neat Toyota small bus - very popular.  You couldn’t pay me to drive here.
• When we were in Japan, about 18 years ago - I encountered just a couple of squat potties.  Most places had Western toilets.  Not here.  Back then, the Japanese tried to tell us they were more sanitary.  They haven’t seen these!  At our first “squat potty experience”, one of the gals came out of the bathroom complaining that her pants had touched the floor and were wet - most likely with someone else’s urine.  Next day when we visited one, we were reminded by some kind husband to roll up our pants.  I am SO GLAD we didn’t bring Grace.  Very few bathrooms have soap and towels - NONE has had hot water.  Just don’t feel clean. 
• So far, the only person who has gotten sick is the guide - the person who lives here and eats this food every day!
• No one drinks tap here - not even the locals.  They don’t trust it to be clean.  But a nice sized bottle of water is 10 - 30 cents!
• Tonight, at the 7/11 store, there, in with the candy bars and gum and breath mints - was prepackaged chicken feet.  Think I’ll pass.
• From our hotel room - we can look down into the restaurant across the street where they have a pool - a pretty good sized kids pool - with the lucky fish who will be someone’s dinner tonight.  Pleasant.
• And, back to a previous subject, I have seen, on mulitple occasions, little kids with split pants, just squat and go wherever they happened to be.  A couple were kind enough to go off to  the side of the walkway, near some bushes, but not all of them.
• While I don’t enjoy being pushed and shoved, I do enjoy the Asian attentiveness.  The flight attendants actually bowed today when the recording was played thanking everyone for the opportunity of serving them.  Our waitress tonight stood at a (not too far) distance and watched us eat - ready to cater to our every need.  At one point, she had two other waitresses watching us too (they weren’t very busy).  Nothing like eating to an audience.
• Another throw back to my days of working with Asians.  They LOVE to have their picture made.  One family in our group has their 8-1/2 year old daughter with them who is VERY blond.  People keep stopping and wanting their picture made with her.  She’s a good sport, but when she tires of it, she puts her hood up and tries to hide her hair.  But she still looks so fair.  And, get this, I’ve probably had my picture made with about seven or eight people I’ve never seen - I’m just an American and they want their picture made with one.  I can’t imagine what it will look like in their album, some lady they don’t know and will never see again, but - hey - it’s an American.

Mike just looked over my shoulder to ask if I’d written about yesterday’s sightseeing.  No, I hadn’t.  Well, I did mention the Great Wall.  We visited that, along with the Summer Palace.  Both VERY impressive places that would have been MUCH more awe-inspiring if they hadn’t been PACKED to the gills with pushing, shoving people.

Well, I think I’ll clsoe this document.  Can’t believe I wrote so much.  Gotta do it now.  I don’t know how much “entertaining” we’ll need to be doing with Ruby the next few.  BUT, we’ll definitely post some pictures tomorrow.  We’ll be the ones sweating. 

While on the bus yesterday,  our guide, Catherine, gave us each a sheet of paper with some questions that FTIA had asked the orphanage.  Here are some things they said about Ruby:

“She is active and outgoing.”

“She gets up at 6:20 a.m. from Monday till Friday and 7 a.m. on weekends.  She takes a nap from 12:00 p.m. to 1:50 and goes to bed at 9:30.  (Yes!  I wonder if I can join her at taking a nap?)

“She likes doll and beautiful ornament for girl.  She likes in a busy place and play with many kids.  (Good - I brought dolls for her!)

“She doesn’t like someone touching her stuff without her permission.”

Not much - but we’ll take all we can get  -  every bit of information is precious!  Just two more days and we have her.  Our groups leaves for the airport in the morning, and we split up to go to our various provinces to receive our children.  We will all meet up on Friday in Guangzhou.

Today we visited the Great Wall and the Summer Palace.  Both were impressive in their own way.  Both were WAY too crowded. 

We’re going to go get Coldstone Creamery for dinner, pack our bags, and hit the hay!  A long day!

We went to Olympic Village just around sunset, so we had some interesting effects.  Here are some pictures:

Funky hotel

Here is the famous “birds nest” stadium:

We spent some time at the Forbidden City today with our group.  The place is huge!  It is a set of buildings, many of which seem to act like gates to the next section.  The only way to get a feel for the whole thing in a photo would be an aerial view.  We kept walking and walking.  Many of the sections seem to look the same, but there are subtle differences our guide pointed out, like how many animals were on the roof: The emperor’s had 10 and everyone else had fewer.  Here are a few of our photos…

First, this is just one of the courtyards.  You go through the building towards the back, and you enter another one.

Courtyard

This is the gate between one courtyard and another.  You can sort of see the next one through this one.

Gate between courtyards

Another courtyard, I think this one leads to the emperor’s hall.

Emperor

Here is the detail of one of the roofs, showing the number of animals that shows the importance of the occupant of that building:

Roof detail

Here is just one room of one building.  Most are empty now, but they have one set up so you have an idea of the original splendor.

Throne room